


Touch

by tetskuroo



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending, Light Angst, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, Nothing graphic at all just mentions/hints at Kyoutani's parents sucking, Rated because Kyoutani and I both really like to curse, Touch-Starved Kyoutani, Yahaba is just really concerned and wants to help, bad home life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-26
Updated: 2016-05-26
Packaged: 2018-07-10 07:32:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6973282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tetskuroo/pseuds/tetskuroo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kyoutani Kentarou didn't like being touched. Yahaba Shigeru didn't really care.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Touch

Kyoutani Kentarou did not like being touched. 

Ever since he was younger he hadn't experienced much touch at all, seeing as neither of his parents were keen on showing affection, and he only guessed that he had inherited that trait from them and was destine to be an untouchable person forever.

Through elementary school and middle school he had no problems - he was too scary looking for the other kids to want to be around, and anyone that was confident enough in themselves to try and pat Kyoutani's back or hold his arm was immediately turned down and, if persistent enough, physically pushed away.

The first year of high school was pretty much the same - pushing people away emotionally and physically until he was sure there was an invisible barrier around him that nobody dared enter. Once he was sure most people in the school had heard about him he decided to join the volleyball team. It was his second year, he was growing into his body, he had bags under his eyes from his immense insomnia, and he was ready to push away anybody that tried to touch him - he was sure they'd get the hint and stay away.

Thing was there was somebody in the volleyball club that decided they didn't give a shit if Kyoutani didn't want to be touched - Oikawa Tooru was a touchy captain, always trying to assure his teammates with pats on the back and arms over the shoulders, and Kyoutani absolutely hated it.

He decided to leave the team - Oikawa wasn't going to listen, and he didn't want to physically harm the one person that could barely lift a finger and have Kyoutani off of the volleyball team the rest of his high school career. He was going to come back once the third years had left, and he was going to be the best damn ace the team had ever seen.

*****

After miscalculating the time the upper class-men were going to leave and rejoining the team anyways Kyoutani calmed a little. Oikawa seemed to get some kind of a hint that Kyoutani really didn't like to be touched and wasn't just being an asshole for no reason, so he made sure to refrain from patting Kyoutani whenever he could remember.

Someone else, however, decided that they were going to push the limits and touch Kyoutani as much as they could get away with. The faux-blonde boy hadn't expected Yahaba to be anything but a pushover - he thought Yahaba was too pretty and scrawny to stand up for himself and push too hard for what he wanted. In his past the pretty boys were the easiest ones to shake off, the ones that backed off after the first warning, but Yahaba wasn't like that.

He let Kyoutani know when he wasn't pleased with what was going on, and he had no problem physically pushing the shorter one back when he is pushed first. Kyoutani had been terrified when Yahaba slammed him against the wall at the spring high tournament, and he made sure to really keep his space from the tall pretty boy after that. He didn't need to become friends with somebody that touched him and wasn't phased at all when they were pushed away - he needed people near him who were scared of him, people who were intimidated by him, and Yahaba wasn't that.

Over time though he started wanting to get to know Yahaba more, and he figured that it was because he told himself he couldn't, but he couldn't be too sure. He'd tried - tried to figure out why he wanted Yahaba to pat him on the back like Oikawa used to, why he wanted Yahaba to wrap an arm around his shoulders after they won a practice match. It was weird and kind of uncomfortable, how hot and tingly and safe those small, short-lived touches could make him feel, but he liked it so, so much.

So he let himself be friends with Yahaba - they started studying together after practice when either of them needed help and even walked to and from the train station together most days. They smiled and laughed and high-fived sometimes when Yahaba's set was just right and Kyoutani's spike was strong enough to echo throughout the entire gym. They grew on each other, and Kyoutani hoped and prayed that that would help him stop yearning for Yahaba's touch - he figured he just wanted a friend, wanted somebody to talk to and hang out with often because he was lonely at home, but it only made him want it more.

On good days, days where they did good in practice, Kyoutani would lie awake in bed at night - like usual - and think about how Yahaba's hand had felt on his back earlier that day when they'd congratulated each other, how Yahaba's hand had felt when it slapped against his own in a victory high five. He found himself thinking about how it would feel to maybe cuddle Yahaba or hold his hand or even just hug him - hell, hug anyone.

He thought and thought and thought; he'd never experienced a real hug, - his arms wrapped around somebody and their own around him - never held somebody's hand or sat close enough to feel somebody next to him.

That night Kyoutani curled up into a ball, holding himself, and cried for the first time since he was five, hoping and praying that someday he would have somebody that wanted to hug him.

*****

The rest of that week progressed the same.

Kyoutani was tired and sluggish - he hadn't slept more than an hour or so each night, and it was showing in everything he did. He was more cranky, well, more emotional in general, and he wasn't able to reach his full potential in practice or in classes.

He went to Yahaba's that night to study, hoping and praying that it would distract him from the things he was feeling and thinking, the things he hadn't been able to get out of his brain for a week now. Yahaba noticed the even larger, darker rings under Kyoutani's eyes and the amplified crankiness in his attitude, but he wasn't going to question it - he knew that Kyoutani wasn't one to voice his feelings, and that if he ever wanted to voice them he'd go to somebody else, somebody he could trust more.

Yahaba was helping Kyoutani with kanji - the number one thing he was the worst at in the world - and let out a frustrated groan when Kyoutani still hadn't gotten it right. "Like this," he said, reaching over to wrap his hand around the one Kyoutani had over a pencil. The second his long, pale fingers touched Kyoutani's hand the shorter boy was flinching away - dropping his pencil and physically moving his body away from Yahaba's. "What the hell was that?"

"I've told you time and time again, Yahaba, I don't like to be touched," Kyoutani all but growled at his friend.

"Not even when I'm trying to help you? It's honestly not a big deal, Kyoutani, come over here so I can show you how to do this."

Kyoutani crossed his arms across his chest and shook his head. "No, I don't like it when anybody touches me, and just because you're helping me doesn't mean it's an exception. You can show me but you're not going to touch me."

Yahaba scoffed but picked up the pencil to show him anyways. "You don't even let your mother or father touch you? That's not very respectful."

Kyoutani let out his own scoff and glared at Yahaba. "It was disrespectful of them first - neither of them like to touch anyone, not even me or each other, so it's only natural that I'm like this."

Yahaba stopped his hand's movements and turned to look at Kyoutani, surprised. "Your parents don't hug your or pat you on the back?" Kyoutani shook his head no. "When did they quit?"

Kyoutani's glare was still fixed on Yahaba, a little annoyed with the personal conversation. "Ever since I was old enough to take care of myself."

Yahaba frowned and set down the pencil. "Kyoutani, humans are affectionate creatures - we need to be hugged sometimes, even if it's just every once in a while. God, that's why you don't sleep well and why you're always so emotionally unstab-"

Kyoutani glared at Yahaba even harder. "I'm fine," he interrupted, and then he was standing up to gather his things. "Fuck you, I don't need a lecture because my parents didn't show me how to be an affectionate person."

"But Kyoutani, you need to get affection from somewhere - do you have a pet you can cuddle with?"

Kyoutani let out a bitter laugh. "Yeah, my parents can't even take care of me, you expect them to be able to take care of an animal?"

He was growing nervous - Yahaba looked utterly distressed at the situation, Kyoutani felt like an idiot for admitting any of this to somebody he could only just barely call a friend, and he was fighting off the urge to latch onto Yahaba and bury his face into the way too large sweater the brown haired boy was wearing right now.

"Have you ever even been hugged?" Yahaba asked - it was so weird to him, thinking that there were people in the world that literally couldn't remember the last time they were hugged.

Kyoutani had most of his belongings in his school bag now, and he paused in shoving the papers into the brown bag to glare at Yahaba again. "That's none of your damn business," he spat, and he seemed to forget about the rest of his things in the room, because he threw the bag over his shoulder and started heading for the door to Yahaba's room.

"Wait Kyoutani, just wait a second!" Yahaba said, his distress showing through more now. Kyoutani listened, because he really, really didn't like how desperate Yahaba sounded at this point, but he didn't turn around. "Please, just let me hug you once. If you don't like it I will never bother you about it again, but you need a hug - everyone needs a hug."

Kyoutani tried to resist - he wanted to bolt out the door, move to a different school, a different city, a different country and never, ever talk to Yahaba ever again. But his body was practically gravitating back towards Yahaba, his body was begging for the touch of someone no mater how against it his brain was.

He allowed himself to turn around. "Fine, if it will get you to leave me the hell alone," he said, but all of the usual bite was gone from his voice - he sounded vulnerable and a little scared, and Yahaba made sure not to comment on it before he was walking forward to stand in front of the shorter boy.

"Put your bag down," he said quietly, already trying to make the moment more relaxed. Kyoutani dropped the bag down to the ground and then looked away because holy hell he was feeling awkward and scared. "Okay," Yahaba said quietly, preparing himself.

"Just hurry the hell up!" Kyoutani shouted, annoyed with how long it was taking.

"Hey this is going to be your first hug, I've gotta make it good!"

He only took a couple more seconds to breathe out and then reach to hug Kyoutani, his long arms wrapping around the other's shoulders and pulling him close. Kyoutani tensed - now that his body was getting the affection that it wanted it was confused. He didn't move, just let Yahaba hug him and tried to focus on anything but the complete warmth he was feeling.

Yahaba moved to pull away, an apology on his lips because he was sure Kyoutani was going to want to punch him, but Kyoutani's arms moved faster. They wrapped around Yahaba's body and his hands found purchase in the giant sweater on the scrawny boy's body. Yahaba let out a small 'oh' before letting his arms secure around Kyoutani once again, and then they were officially hugging.

Kyoutani let out a shaky breath - he wasn't going to cry, he promised himself he wouldn't cry - and then pressed closer to Yahaba, letting his face angle down to bury in the taller boy's shoulder. Yahaba didn't mention how tight Kyoutani was grasping his sweater, because he didn't want to ruin the moment, didn't want to make Kyoutani's first hug less amazing because he wasn't able to hold Yahaba as close as he wanted.

It was when Yahaba started slowly rubbing Kyoutani's back with his hands that Kyoutani couldn't hold them in any longer - a few tears fell from his eyes, rather slow in their trek down his face and onto Yahaba's sweater, and he was sure he was in for some kind of fun making now. When nothing was said from Yahaba Kyoutani laughed.

"Hugging is stupid," he managed to say against Yahaba's chest, and the taller boy couldn't fight a laugh. He didn't comment on how Kyoutani obviously was enjoying the hug - this wasn't a time to embarrass Kyoutani or scare him away - it was a time to help someone feel better, time to make him feel loved and needed, and Yahaba was going to do it until somebody else would.

Kyoutani must have been wanting to die of embarrassment that day, because then he started rambling on to Yahaba about how he had been wanting this, wanting to hug and feel somebody next to him. Yahaba didn't laugh, despite his love for poking fun at Kyoutani. He instead kept rubbing his back and reassured Kyoutani that it was okay to want to be hugged, no matter what his parents said.

They pulled away about fifteen minutes after they had started, but only because Yahaba's mother had called for them to go and eat. Kyoutani was obviously reluctant in letting go, but once he noticed how clingy, and presumably annoying, he was being he pulled away and stepped back.

Yahaba noticed what he was doing and reached a hand out to carefully touch his shoulder. "After we eat we can come back up her and snuggle a little, if you want. I don't want to overwhelm you, but you will probably feel way better if you do."

"Please," Kyoutani said quietly, looking down at his hands nervously.

And after dinner they did snuggle. Kyoutani and Yahaba told each other things they hadn't shared ever, bodies pressed together on Yahaba's bed, Kyoutani's face in Yahaba's neck.

Kyoutani wasn't supposed to, but he fell asleep there that night, and when he woke next it was in the morning with Yahaba still beside him. He hadn't tossed and turned, hadn't struggled to get to sleep, hadn't woken up at all throughout the night.

And when he remember they didn't have early morning practice that morning, he cuddled back up to Yahaba's body and fell back asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work on AO3 and I'm stupid nervous about posting it so I hope you all like it?? This - along with many other works of mine - is posted on Wattpad, but I wanted to post it somewhere else.


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